The First Waltz

I recently watched The Last Waltz which is a Martin Scorsese directed musical documentary about The Band and I have to say I really enjoyed it. Anyone who has never seen this movie should check it out and see why it is almost universally hailed as the ultimate of the genre. Although I like The Band and their music I have to disagree on that point - I think the best musical documentary is Talking Head's Stop Making Sense but that is not what I came here to talk about - I came to talk about my sisters. Did that last sentence catch your eyes sisters? Good - that is what it was meant to do. But the rest of you can keep reading too.

I was the middle child of 5 children and I will clarify that by saying that technically I was born in between three older sisters and one younger brother so it just felt like the middle. So when it came to developing an interest in music I was totally at the mercy of my sisters and that was not always a bad thing.

Actually music was a lot of fun with three sisters. They were older and more worldly than me so I was introduced to whatever they were interested in. The earliest I can remember would be the music from Disney films and TV shows but as they grew into teenagers I was initiated into the world of TV dance shows, school sock hops, teen idols and records. I especially remember what I like to think of as "the era of the Bobbies". There were a lot of singing Bobbies - offhand I can recall Bobbie Rydell, Bobbie Vinton, Bobbie Vee and Bobbie Curtola. This particular breed of singer was known as the teen idol or "dreamboat"and they existed solely to sell records to young girls. Pretty slim pickins for a young boy but my sisters had all the records and the record player so I was pretty much resigned to liking what they liked. But remember - this was 1962-63 and the Beatles were right around the corner.

I am not really sure how it came to be that I was invited to go with my sisters to an early rock and roll show at the Fredericton Playhouse but am I glad it happened. The band that was playing was none other than Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks and they changed my life. It was the first time I had seen live music on stage and I was blown away! This was when the Beatles were just pictures in magazines - and here were living, rocking musicians right on stage! They had shiny boots and mohair suits and I have never forgotten how exciting it was.

Anyone who knows their rock and roll history knows that Ronnie Hawkins is a living legend in the music world and that the Hawks went on to become The Band. They are perhaps the most famous for being Bob Dylan's backing band for many years - not bad for a bunch of Canadian boys (and one Yankee). Their ultimate concert was filmed by Martin Scorsese in 1978 and became known as The Last Waltz.

It was such a lucky twist of fate for me that I got to see them in the very beginning - sort of a First Waltz for me and I have been enjoying the dance ever since. So I say thanks to my sisters for taking along an impressionable 12 year old boy (even if Mom made you do it) and allowing me to witness this small but significant slice of rock and roll history.

Gratuitous Socks...

I wrote this on January 8th 2010 but decided to postpone it out of respect for the more serious charitable efforts going on to help the victims in Haiti. But it looks like the suffering there and around the world will continue for some time - might as well laugh while we can. And who knows - I just might be serious...

For several years now my wife has been giving my sons socks for Christmas. Not just a plain, uninspired pair of socks but lots of socks! 20 or 30 pairs of socks - each pair individually banded with masking tape so they can experience that "new socks" feeling each day for a whole month. There is no better feeling than unwrapping and slipping into a new pair of socks and if there is I would like to know what it is. Snappy new underwear comes in as a close second but we don't want to talk about that do we? This tradition is wonderful in it's simplicity and I think there are some less fortunate and homeless people who could benefit from the therapeutic benefit of socks. Of course this will take a lot of money so when I win "the big one" here is what I will do.

I will start the Gratuitous Socks Foundation. After all, it seems that most everything else has been covered - food for the hungry, winter coats for the needy, Hats for the Homeless, Mittens for Millions, even eyeglasses are recycled for the near or far sighted. I don't want to belittle these wonderful and worthy causes but what about the feet? I think there are too many people walking around without enough socks - and to remedy the situation here is what I will do when I have too much money.

I will buy thousands of pairs of socks - not just any socks but Wilson sport socks - white, like the ones I am wearing now. I will wear them once and once only. They will be washed, folded and banded with tape and then they will be donated to the poor and sockless. And if I can't wear the socks fast enough I am sure I can find some willing volunteers to help me out in this worthy endeavor. I am not sure who will do all the washing and folding - I haven't figured that part out yet but I am working on it.

Of course I could just buy socks and donate them to the poor but where would the fun be in that? The GSF members and I get to have that "new sock" thrill each and every day and the less fortunate get to have warm dry feet - a win/win situation if there ever was one. If you want to be involved I am looking for volunteers and taking names.

So let's do it. Let's all put our best feet forward, pull our socks up and make this world a better place - one pair at a time. Are you with me?

Generation Text

We hear a lot about texting these days (or should I say txtng - wouldn't want to waste a vowel) and it seems so new and trendy but if you think texting shortcuts are new - think again. We have been doing it on the QT since B4 many so called textperts were even born. FYI the military invented it way back in WW2 when a GI jumped in a 4WD went AWOL and caused a big SNAFU and when the situation became FUBAR he called 911 ASAP and sent out an SOS before he became a POW. Then after he completed his KP duties he said TGIF and went to a BYOB party for some R&R, met a girl and sent her a letter SWAK and signed XOXO.

So when you see Generation Text sending thumb messages to their BFF remember where it all began and try not to LOL. But OMG, personally I will be ROFLMAO trying not to have a BM.


TTFN and CUL8R!

M.P.H.

Pancake Rant!

I am sure you have all watched and enjoyed Rick Mercer's rants on his weekly TV show. Rick does a great job and usually deals with important topics such as politics and, uh.... politics. Well this is my first rant and it is about something far more important than politics - it is about pancakes. I was going to pinpoint Crosby's Pancakes but I have decided to widen my scope and go after the whole pancake mafia! That's right Aunt Jemima - you can run but you can't hide! And I see you Betty Crocker - shame on you!!

I guess to be truthful it is not the humble pancake that should be the target of my rant but the sodium content therein. Forget the H1N1 pandemic folks - what we have here is a full blown pan-cake-demic! And I don't see any lineups for the vaccine. Not yet. I am a recent convert to the low sodium way of life having listened to and heeded the advice of a two very wise men, Dr. Stephan Paulin M.D.(1991) and Mr. Dan Brown B.M.(1967). Thank you gentlemen.

But this is not just about those of us who have been diagnosed with high blood pressure. If you haven't been diagnosed yet - just wait, you will be. So why isn't there an outright war on sodium? Apparently because it tastes so good and makes things fluffy! At least this is what I was told by Crosby's when I pointed out that one pancake made from their mix contains 40% of your daily recommended amount of sodium. And be honest - the last time you had pancakes how many of you had just one? How many people ever eat one pancake - more likely 4 or 5. You do the math....

And this "fluffy" excuse just doesn't wash with me either - haven't they ever heard the expression "flat as a pancake"? I am not asking for a miracle - but if they can put a man on the moon - they can make a healthy, fluffy pancake with less salt than a roll of salami.

But maybe I am taking the wrong approach here. Maybe we don't really need fluffy pancakes. Why not just make them flat and stack them one on top of the other for that fluffy pancake look we all crave?

That's my rant and I must admit I feel a little better. So I am off to find a pancake recipe we can all live with - literally. By the way - February 17th is Pancake Tuesday. You have been warned.

You Bet Your Blog...

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them - I have others."

Groucho Marx

If you have ever seen the old Groucho Marx game show called "You Bet Your Life" then you will understand what this blog is about. If not, it's enough to know that Groucho had a highly successful radio and TV show based on interviewing everyday people and asking them a few simple questions for some modest prize money. The fun was in watching Groucho interact with the contestants. Some tension was added to the show by having a cigar smoking duck that flew down with a $100 bill when a contestant said the magic word. Hey - it was the fifties, what can I say?

This blog is merely a contest to see who reads what I post here without being prompted to do so by me. The winner of the contest will be the first person to email me with the magic word. The magic word is "Blister". The prize is a signed 8 x 10 photograph of me and all you have to do to win is be the first one to post a comment or send an email containing the magic word.

Good luck and may the best man or woman win.

So Long Old Pal....

An old friend of mine recently passed away but you won't read his obituary in the Daily Gleaner. Albert was was only 52 years old but to be honest, he never was very healthy. He was raised during the big 50's boom and was always the runt of the litter. He just didn't have the hearty construction of some of his older brothers who are still going strong today.
He was reliable though - and a friend to all no matter what grade you were in or what group you hung out with. He had a knack of making everyone feel like they belonged - something I think is missing these days among his peers.

I saw Albert almost every day of the school year and sometimes we even got together on the weekend - especially if there was a dance. Albert loved to dance. I didn't see him as much in the summer, but when September rolled around - there he was, surrounded by all his old friends and a whole crop of new ones. I learned a lot from Albert. He taught me how to get along with most people, how to keep out of trouble and he taught me all about girls. But most of all - he introduced me to some lifelong friends.

Sadly I had to leave Albert behind and move on but he was happy where he was - he could always make new friends. I saw him from time to time over the years and he even became somewhat of a friend to my 2 sons. I guess I was lucky I knew Albert in his prime because he seemed to go downhill recently and the future did not look good. The last time I saw him I didn't even recognize him. I knew he was terminal but it was still a shock to see him lying there reduced to a pile of rubble.

Yes - Albert Street School may be gone but the spirit of Albert will live on in our memories and stories.

So long old pal....

Please help....

I bet you thought this blog was about the poor unfortunate country of Haiti, didn't you? Well I did too when I sat down to write it but I soon realized that I am not qualified to do that. It is beyond my ability to express an opinion about suffering of that magnitude. All I can do is my small part and be thankful for those people and organizations who do their big parts. Now on with my story...

It really is OK to take your mind off of this terrible event and turn to something more lighthearted - if you don't agree then stop reading now.

Still reading....? OK. You asked for it.

As you may or may not know our beloved city of Fredericton needs your help. As you read this there is a major revamping underway of the Canadian version of Monopoly. Yes - Monopoly. The game we all played when we were kids! Remember? Everyone crowded around the table or on the bedroom floor with piles of money stuffed under the game board, Get out of Jail Free cards stashed away because you knew you were going to jail eventually. Little red houses and big black hotels crammed on to your property in hopes of raking in that big rent payment when some poor sucker lands there.
And Monopoly is not just for kids - I played a new Beatles version with some friends a couple of weeks ago and it is still just as much fun.

So if you have ever played Monopoly or if you ever plan to play again now is the time to stand up and be counted. I am ashamed to report that Fredericton currently stands at a dismal 0.6% in the national ratings. With your help Waterloo Row could be the next Boardwalk! Or Sunshine Gardens could be the next Marvin Gardens - think of that!

So here is my advice: Do Not Pass Go - Do Not Collect $200.00 - donate that to Haitian relief if you want to. But go directly to http://www.monopolyvote.ca/en_CA/world and register your vote today!

OK - so whose turn was it?

Lassie Come Home....

Woof woof! Woof... woof... woof .
Woof woof and woof!


"What's that you say girl? You detect something strange in that passenger's underpants? Please step over here sir while we complete our pre-boarding inspection. Please drop your pants sir. Well well well, what have we here. Is that a stick of dynamite in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Good girl Lassie - here is a Kibble and a pat on the head. Officer - take this man away."

The above paragraph describes a situation that could happen at any airport, large or small - at a very minimal cost - no need for bulky and complicated full body scanners at the ridiculous price of $250,000.00 each. No lineups for hours while complicated and untrustworthy machinery attempts to detect dangerous explosives smuggled into airports by would be terrorists. Not while Old Duke, Lassie, Hobo and Rin Tin Tin are on the job. And these old out-of-work K9 actors will work for peanuts - well maybe not peanuts but a few bags of Purina dog chow and a beef bone will go a long way.

Anybody who has ever entered the home of a dog owner and bent over to take their shoes off knows that dogs are born for this kind of highly specialized work. All dogs are born with a natural curiosity, a territorial imperative and a big wet nose. I suggest this more than qualifies them to defend our skies against terrorist activities. And furthermore I recommend that the Canadian government invest in this economically sound and proven technology and leave the fancy, dancy body scanners to our American friends.

Of course we will all have to submit to Rover's close scrutiny - at least those of us foolish enough to fly will. Personally I will stay here on the ground and if Rover gets a little too over-zealous I can overlook his professional integrity knowing that it is a safer world. WOOF!

The Hope That Springs Eternal....

You've got to accent-u-ate the positive

E-lim-i-nate the negative

Latch on to the affirm-a-tive

Don't mess with Mr. Inbetween

I was a commission salesman for over 20 years and was able to make a half decent living at it. At least I was able to keep food on the table, shoes on the feet and gas in the car. If you know anything about sales you will know that it involves a lot of rejection. A lot of rejection that you must learn to live with. Over the course of those 20 years I heard a lot of theories and read a lot of books and articles about sales - mostly in trade magazines while sitting in outer offices waiting for a sales appointment. One of the most memorable I ever came across was by an author named Robert Ringer who wrote "Winning Through Intimidation" - a huge best seller back in the 70's. A couple of his theories stuck with me for some reason.
One of his major points was the Theory of Sustenance of a Positive Attitude Through the Assumption of a Negative Result. In other words - prepare yourself for long-term success by being prepared for short-term failure. This was meant to apply to the sales process but I think it can be applied to many of life's situations - such as relationships, jobs, children, dogs and computers.

Another one of his interesting points was the Ice Ball Theory - and not even David Suzuki or Al Gore can dispute this one. The theory basically points out the scientific fact that in 50 billion years, the sun will burn out and the Earth will be a frozen ice ball. It is taking the long view to be sure and flies in face of the current global warming theory - but it is a fact and it will happen. A tad bit fatalistic but strangely comforting - I guess it's nice to have something you can really count on in these changing times. Nothing you do now could possibly matter then - so don’t take yourself too seriously. Singer John Mellencamp also took this view in his album titled "Nothing Matters and What if it Did?" More of a rhetorical statement than a rhetorical question and one that I have not found the answer to yet because there is none. And believe it or not - all of these points of view have actually helped me through many a situation when more conventional wisdom let me down.

What is this blog all about? I am not sure - you tell me. I think it follows up one of my earlier blogs about small glimmers of hope. We are approaching that time of the year when a lot of us give into the darkness of winter. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and no - it is not an oncoming train.

Perhaps the best theory of all might just come from comedian and philosopher George Carlin whose Hippy Dippy weatherman, Al Sleet used to forecast "dark followed by widely scattered light". At this time of year - we can't ask for much better than that, can we?

Me and Willie O'ree...

Feelin' good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and Willie O'ree....

That's not actually how the song goes but I am trying to start each blog with a song lyric and that just seemed to fit. Last Sunday I went skating at Willie O'ree Place and I am still feelin' good but let me tell you I am out of shape! My chest was wheezing and I had a pain in my lower back, my ankles were wobbly and my legs were cramped. I struggled to catch my breath as my vision blurred and there was a ringing in my ears.... but eventually I was able to get my skates laced up, catch my breath and hit the ice - then things started to improve.

The rink was really crowded but I prefer it that way - it is fun weaving in and out of the constantly moving crowd. There was the usual mixture of skaters - nervous beginners, cool teenagers, parents with young children pushing little chairs around the ice. And those little rink rats and hot-doggers with low centers of gravity who buzz around your ankles with their over-sized hockey skates and helmets on. There were babies skating with soothers in their mouths and even a few "old guys" who can still carve the ice and make it look easy. I was reminded of Mr. Chedore - an older gentleman who lived in our neighborhood when I was growing up. Mr. Chedore wore those old-fashioned skates with the long, straight blades and he skated with his hands behind his back, taking those slow, graceful strides that you don't see anymore. Mr. Chedore skated like butter.

But back to me and Willie O'ree. I actually met Willie O'ree when I was 9 years old. It was in the off season and he was on some sort of motivational speaking tour at the time and came to talk to the Millville Scout troop. I was not a member but I got to go along with my older cousins and I suspect Dad and a few uncles managed to attend that special night too. I was unaware of his historical significance at the time but it was a thrill just to meet a real NHL player and he obviously made quite an impression on me because I have never forgotten it.

So I am just saying "Thanks Willie" for taking the time to talk to a bunch of impressionable young boys and thanks for being the inspiration for our city to build such a fine arena.