My Kingdom for a Fork

I went shopping the other evening and I bought myself a new fork. Yes - you read that correctly... a fork. And it was on sale! But wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

First of all, I was not shopping specifically for a fork. I was actually looking for some shirts. We went to Value Village and I picked out a couple of nice summer shirts and found a pair of shorts with a penny in the pocket so I HAD to buy those. Who can pass up lucky shorts?

But you want to know about the fork, don't you. I guess you should know that I have a thing for forks - I am VERY fussy about forks. After all - this is something I am going to stick into my mouth thousands of times. Now you might say that a fork is just a fork, but you would be wrong. We have a variety of forks in our drawer at home and they range from flimsy "tinfoil" forks to what I refer to as "horse forks"; more suitable for lifting hay in a barn. A fork is a tool, and as the saying goes "The Right Tool for the Right Job". A quick check on Google will confirm that there are at least 25 different kinds of forks but I am mainly concerned with the everyday dinner fork.

There are several things to consider when looking for a new fork. Size in general is important - it must fit comfortably into the hand. Weight is also a consideration - too light and you may as well have a plastic fork and too heavy can cause fork fatigue. Nobody wants that. Esthetically a fork should be pleasing to the eye without being showy or frivolous. It should have a good balance and a comfortable grip with a smooth but not highly polished surface. Exceptions may be made at Christmas and formal dinners.

One of the major considerations when shopping for a good fork are the tines - the 4 pointy parts in front. And I stress that there must be 4 tines - no more, no less. These must be slightly curved and wide enough to hold a variety of foods and sharp enough to spear, yet not so sharp as to risk injury. After all, the fork is the most versatile of the cutlery family and must be used for everything from a delicate souffle to overcooked liver.

Now back to the super deal I got on this fork. It was priced at 29 cents and I had no problem with that but we had a coupon with us that entitled us to a 30% discount on all purchases. So now we are talking 21 cents - plus a 7 day return policy - no questions asked! If that isn't a deal I don't know what is.

So I will be trying out my new fork this week and I don't anticipate any problems. I will start out with something simple like scrambled eggs and maybe work my way up to some spaghetti and possibly the ultimate test - liver and onions. If it handles well I may go back for the other three and complete the set. Now if I can just find the perfect steak knife....