"The Item"

My first "real" job (not counting my paper route) was working at a little corner store called McKay's Meat Market. It was owned by Barry McKay who lived right across the street from the store. Barry, in his wisdom or his ignorance (I prefer wisdom) allowed me to mind the store alone after I had been suitably trained in all aspects of clerking a corner store.

I could sell cigarettes and penny candy, handle the cash, cut the cheese and even run the meat slicer. There was nothing I didn't know about that store and even though I was only 14, Barry trusted me enough to leave me there alone on those rare occasions when he was out. I never knew where he went and I didn't even consider that he might have a life; he was like teachers were in those days - they didn't exist outside of the school and Barry did not exist outside of the store. He just went away for a while...

Like I said, I knew everything about that store... well, almost everything. Before leaving me alone with the money, the cigarettes, the meat cleavers and grinders, Barry took me aside and gave me very serious and specific instructions about an item that was kept way up on the top shelf at the back of the store.

This particular item was neatly wrapped in butcher paper and lined up in a row on the top shelf and I was told precisely what to do should a lady customer request the item. There was even a special wooden stick with a bent nail in the end to pull it down and the price was marked clearly on the box. The only thing Barry did not discuss with me was what the item was - and I in my innocence did not ask. These were simpler times.

Left alone in the store I went about the business of a shop keeper. I swept the floor, I answered the phone, weighed up a pound or two of wieners and sold pop, chips and cigarettes. We would sell cigarettes to anyone - even six year olds, as long as they had a note from their mother and promised not to inhale. I even stocked the shelves when needed and that is when my curiosity was aroused. What could the item be? The item was about the size and shape of a box of potato chips or cereal. But it was only for lady customers so that kind of ruled out both of those ideas - unless it was some kind of special lady cereal? I was 14 - what the hell did I know! And the box was too light for washing powder and too heavy for marshmallows (I checked....) and besides, marshmallows came in bags so I was completely stumped.

Eventually on a quiet evening a lady did come in and discreetly asked if I would please get her a box from the top shelf. I got my stick and tipped it down, rang in the sale, placed it in a bag and said thank you and good night. I still had no idea what was in the box, but I was kind of leaning towards potato chips and guessing she didn't want her husband to know. And Barry was in on it...

The mystery was eventually solved when some girls I knew from school explained in very broad terms that it was a product that only females needed and that was enough for me. Of course we all know what "the item" was, since there are now aisles full of them and television ads abound. But I say it was more fun back in the dark ages when a guy could wile away those long, slow evenings behind the counter without a clue in the world, pondering the mysteries of life.