Under Where?

Cherokee.... Commander..... Comanche.... Do any of these names ring any bells....? How about Protocol? Nothing? Perhaps the names Robert or Calvin will help. No? Well then, if Mr. Stanfield and Mr. Klein don't give it away then I am sure Hanes, Fruit of the Loom and Jockey will clear things up quite nicely.

By now you should have a clear picture of my topic for this blog - underwear. Men's underwear in general but more specifically my underwear. I am sure some of the brand names mentioned above are familiar to many of you but the lesser known names are from my own personal collection. I have tried many brands over the years but they have mostly fallen by the wayside so to speak - destined to inhabit that portion of the dresser drawer reserved for "emergency only" service.

Why would I pick a topic as delicate as this? Well - they say you should write about what you know and believe me - I know my underwear. What brought this about is that I just "culled" my underwear drawer which is a semi-annual task necessitated by the ravages of daily wear and tear. This culling was needed in order to make room for the two new 6 packs I bought yesterday. There was a big BOGO sale at Zellers so it seemed like a good time to stock up - Fruit of the Loom being the big winner this time. I may be lured away by fashion or discount brands from time to time but inevitably I always return to good old reliable Fruit of the Loom - white, Y-front briefs if you must know.

Underwear, like many of the items in our throw away culture has a finite period of structural effectiveness after which time the functionality begins to diminish exponentially in direct proportion to applied stress. Too technical? OK then, I will put it in plain English for you. Underwear, over a period of time tends to get baggy and saggy and droopy. And if there is one thing I cannot abide - it is droopy underwear. But what to do with underwear that has ceased to function in the capacity for which it was intended?

I don't like waste any more than the next person but I just threw 11 pairs of old underwear in the garbage can and I had no choice. I have a social conscience just like you and believe me - I considered the 3 R's (Reduce Reuse and Recycle). But those guidelines just don't apply in this situation. I certainly can't see how I can reduce my underwear - and Lord knows it has been reused enough. Many things in this world can and should be recycled but not underwear. Do you want to wash your car with my old underwear? Well neither do I....

The best we can do for our aging underwear is to respect it and ensure that it is enjoyed to it's utmost capacity and when the time comes that it has outlived it's usefulness it is OK to just let it go and move on. And isn't that the way we all want to be treated when we end up all saggy and droopy? I think so.