I haven't seen some of these folks for a long time and I was mildly curious to learn what they have been up to. Well, to be honest I was kind of a "captive audience" but I thought it only polite to at least appear interested - after all, I have known these people for years and indeed I have grown up with some of them. You probably know some of them too...I was amazed at how familiar yet strange their faces were, some looking a little older - some even apparently have had some "work" done. Some have been away on vacation and had the pictures to prove it, but their holiday photos revealed a little too much extra weight and no shortage of cellulite. A couple of the photos also revealed a few balding issues (was that a toupée?) and more than a few wrinkles! There is just no hiding that dye job and if she loses any more weight she will turn into an x-ray. And I am certainly not one to judge, but should some of these women even BE out in public without their make up?
I am not one to tell tales and spread gossip but it seems that "she" has been seen around a lot recently without "him" anywhere in sight. And who does she think she is fooling dressing like she is twenty when we all know she is fifty if she is a day! And I was only slightly shocked to learn that a couple of them have recently come out of the closet. We all knew about "him" but what about "her" - did anybody see that coming?
I don't mean to judge but I couldn't help notice that "she" is obviously pregnant and after her breakup with "him" how can she show her face in public? And him right there in plain sight with her best friend and all those new babies? I was not surprised that she is rumored to be hitting the bottle again... but I was saddened to learn that he is suffering from a mysterious disease and not long for this world. Now if it wasn't for the two headed baby giraffe and the space aliens in the Whitehouse I guess you might think I was being rather mean and judgmental... but I am innocent of both charges.
The only thing I am guilty of is spending too much time waiting in line at the Superstore reading all the latest 'scandal sheets' as they used to be called. Nothing much has changed - they are still reporting on all the latest fad diets, alien invasions, cheating spouses and what passes for movie stars these days. And while we are on the subject - just who are all these Kardashian women anyway? Talk about space aliens...
So now you know that these "friends" of mine are merely faces on magazine covers meant to entice us into the exciting and lurid world that most of us will thankfully never have to endure except in graphic headline form. Next time I go shopping I think I'll stick to eight items or less, keep my head down and head for the express lane.
3 comments:
Or better yet, buy a subscription from a student and get the best of both worlds. Support the school funraiser and get the trashy mags delivered right to your door.
I was trying to put names to some of the description until I got to the last paragraph or two.
Sandy
Hahaha..good one..had me fooled for a bit but I did think it was quite unlike you to be so vocal about your friends
Jacqui
I was kind of surprised that you were 'outing' so many of your friends and their weaknesses, etc. BUT of course your well-crafted writing came round to the surprise ending and it all became clear!! Well written, brother!
PS - another 'fun' thing to do when waiting in line - people watching (the real people around you and in some cases much much too close to you)... if only I had your skill for writing, I could go on. But that as they say is another story. Thanks for the great early morning read:)
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