Where Have all the Bullies Gone?

I hear and read a lot about bullying in schools these days and I think it is time I made myself clear on the topic. First of all - you can stop bullies but you can't stop bullying. And second of all - there are no real good bullies anymore. Oh there are lots of little jerks and assholes running around and that is where the real problem lies - but when it comes to true bullying, when they broke Stephen Lyons - they broke the mould. And I know - I was there....

That is a pretty good facsimile of Stephen just to the right, only he didn't usually look that friendly. I first met him in 1963 when I lived on York Street after just moving to town from Devon - a hotbed of bullying if ever there was one; being conveniently located right next door to the Indian Reserve. And before that I lived in Oromocto where we had army bullies moving into town on a weekly basis. So I was quite comfortable with the concept of bullying by the time I reached the tender age of 7 when the local bully's favorite pastime was kneeling on my chest and whiling away those precious recess moments melting chunks of snow in my eyes. I never knew his name but he was in bad need of a shave (in grade 2) and he worked alone - and to me that is the hallmark of a true bully. Stephen Lyons worked alone too.

As I said, I met Stephen in 1963 when I went to Smythe St. School - grade 6. I was the new kid so that made me fair game - fresh meat so to speak. And of course I transgressed the first rule of Bullydom - I made eye contact with him. How was I to know? Anyway - it was a fun year of Stephen's constant threats on my life if I didn't let him copy my work, endless promises of my imminent death after school etc. But strangely enough I survived that year by being "befriended" by yet another bully who felt Stephen was encroaching on his territory - apparently bullies have their own code of ethics. Who knew?

However, even the protection afforded by this fortunate situation could not postpone the inevitable "after school" showdown which came one Friday afternoon. Stephen and I were to meet on Saunders Street for the whipping I so well deserved (after all - I did look at him). I was terrified but had decided that I would take my father's advice and live or die with the consequences. The advice that fathers gave in those days regarding bullies was to face them down and go for the first punch. So that is what I did - I let one go right into his surprisingly soft stomach and down he went. I had expected a brick wall but it was more like poking the Pillsbury Doughboy. And that was it - it worked! And miraculously Stephen and I became friends from that day on. Not that I wanted to be his friend but I guess that is part of the code.

Stephen did not stop being a bully at that point - he only stopped bullying me. We both moved on to a new school where he continued his "career" until he eventually went too far and had to be dealt with on a much higher level - the principal of our new school - Dick McCormick. Mr. McCormick did not abide bullying in his school - that was HIS job. So inevitably Stephen was called out of the classroom one day and "cured" by Mr. McCormick - respectfully out of sight but strategically within hearing range. Stephen got what he deserved and was made to reveal himself as the coward he was. Stephen took early retirement from bullying on that day and I believe Dick may have even influenced the future career plans of more than a few would be bullies who were witness to Stephen's downfall. Cruel? Maybe... Effective? Definitely.

What am I saying here? Do I condone this type of action in today's world? Of course not - but I also wish that something equally powerful and decisive could be done to deal with the mean spirited troublemakers who continue to make life so miserable for their undeserving targets on and off the playground. These kids are not bullies - they are mostly spoiled brats who seek safety in numbers and who have no fear at home or at school and whose parents would no doubt stand up for them against their victims. Like I said before - real bullies work alone.

On the old '70s TV show All in the Family Archie Bunker once claimed that the best way to stop airline hijacking was to "arm your passengers" and oddly enough he wasn't far off the mark considering the fact that all international flights now have armed air marshals. Perhaps it's time we put the real "bullies" back where they belong - in the principal's office. Maybe I am serious and maybe I'm not, but if anyone has any better ideas I would love to hear them.