The Quest

Last Saturday I decided it was time to start up the snow blower for the coming winter season, no point in leaving it to the last minute. As it turned out, it didn't want to start right away and I soon deduced that it needed a new spark plug. Since I had bought it at Sears I figured that was the best place to go for a spark plug... that was my first mistake.

So my journey began with a trip to Sears and after watching two young wizards valiantly trying to help a lady with some sort of warranty problem - over the phone of course, I politely interrupted and inquired as to where I might find an RJ19LM spark plug. One of the two waved his hand vaguely in the direction of a nearby counter indicating silently that they might be over in that direction. He was right indeed, and there they were - three spanking new spark plugs hanging neatly on hooks. That's right - they had a grand total of three spark plugs in stock! Of course these were not the ones I was looking for and the mystical young clerk gravely suggested I would have to call their Toll Free customer service line.

I said maybe I should try Canadian Tire and Sir Skippy's face immediately brightened as he wisely agreed - so off I went feeling my luck was about to change. And things really did seem to be looking up as I gazed down an isle festooned with spark plugs of every size, shape and brand - except the one I was looking for. I was starting to get desperate so after a time I flagged down a passing wizard and asked if he could help me find the elusive RJ19LM spark plug and to his credit I will admit he was more enthusiastic than his counterparts at Sears. He even enlisted the help of another nearby wizard who reluctantly joined in The Quest.

I felt truly blessed as these two weekend warriors searched diligently through mountains of cross reference manuals and knitted their brows as they punched in magical codes and gazed into their glowing computer screens. It became a Battle of the Titans as they went head to head seeing who could out perform the other in their staggering knowledge of spark plugs. This wasn't about me anymore, I had become a mere bystander in what was apparently becoming their solemn quest for an RJ19LM - the Holy Grail of spark plugs.

Ultimately the two finally admitted defeat and announced that my Quest was indeed a great one and if I was to meet with any success at all before the coming snows I would have to continue my journey on Monday morning and make my way to the land of.... (the sound of tympanis in the background).... Auto Machinery. And that is just what I did.

Auto Machinery, to the unenlightened - is a magical place populated by friendly and truly knowledgeable wizards who have practiced their craft for many years. These are not merely minimum wage weekend wizards - in fact they are even closed evenings and weekends; five days a week being sufficient time for them to perfect their mastery of all things mystically mechanical.

The wizards who work there are friendly and wise and I was quickly directed to the next one available who greeted me kindly and smiled confidently awaiting my command. When I revealed to him that I sought the rare and precious RJ19LM spark plug he laughed cheerfully and said "Oh, one of those - we have 64 of them in stock!".

Scarcely had his fingers touched his keyboard when he announced that my spark plug was on the way from their cavernous warehouse and offered to escort me to the cash register. Upon our arrival there, a minor trainee wizard appeared from behind a door proudly bearing the very object itself - my Quest was complete!

And so ends the happy tale of my Quest for not merely the RJ19LM, but for goodness, truth and honesty in the wicked world known as retail shopping. My advice to you, all who read this and seek assistance in the future, is to take my council and make your journey far away from the Malls of Suburbia and venture bravely into the land of Industrial Wholesale, Farm Co-ops and even small Independent Hardware stores. Your journey may be long but it will be worthwhile and you, like me, will find true knowledge, contentment and surprising variety - not to mention ample parking!

So as the season of shopping quickly approaches, be warned and be wise - and may your Quest for the rare and the precious be as successful as mine.