Gratuitous Socks...

I wrote this on January 8th 2010 but decided to postpone it out of respect for the more serious charitable efforts going on to help the victims in Haiti. But it looks like the suffering there and around the world will continue for some time - might as well laugh while we can. And who knows - I just might be serious...

For several years now my wife has been giving my sons socks for Christmas. Not just a plain, uninspired pair of socks but lots of socks! 20 or 30 pairs of socks - each pair individually banded with masking tape so they can experience that "new socks" feeling each day for a whole month. There is no better feeling than unwrapping and slipping into a new pair of socks and if there is I would like to know what it is. Snappy new underwear comes in as a close second but we don't want to talk about that do we? This tradition is wonderful in it's simplicity and I think there are some less fortunate and homeless people who could benefit from the therapeutic benefit of socks. Of course this will take a lot of money so when I win "the big one" here is what I will do.

I will start the Gratuitous Socks Foundation. After all, it seems that most everything else has been covered - food for the hungry, winter coats for the needy, Hats for the Homeless, Mittens for Millions, even eyeglasses are recycled for the near or far sighted. I don't want to belittle these wonderful and worthy causes but what about the feet? I think there are too many people walking around without enough socks - and to remedy the situation here is what I will do when I have too much money.

I will buy thousands of pairs of socks - not just any socks but Wilson sport socks - white, like the ones I am wearing now. I will wear them once and once only. They will be washed, folded and banded with tape and then they will be donated to the poor and sockless. And if I can't wear the socks fast enough I am sure I can find some willing volunteers to help me out in this worthy endeavor. I am not sure who will do all the washing and folding - I haven't figured that part out yet but I am working on it.

Of course I could just buy socks and donate them to the poor but where would the fun be in that? The GSF members and I get to have that "new sock" thrill each and every day and the less fortunate get to have warm dry feet - a win/win situation if there ever was one. If you want to be involved I am looking for volunteers and taking names.

So let's do it. Let's all put our best feet forward, pull our socks up and make this world a better place - one pair at a time. Are you with me?